The Tall Man’s Guide to Dating
Tall guys – are you fed up trying to play the dating game and losing?
Because the world just isn’t set up for the likes of us; it’s a world built around Mr Average’s frame. Mr Average’s rules. But we can make it. We just need to bend the rules a little.
We’re going to show you how to get under the dating limbo bar. To undercome your tallcomings. To date like a pro.
We’re going to address the things that might be holding you back and then help you to get prepared for that crucial first date. From then on – well, it’s all up to you.
“I’m just too tall to be dated. I might as well give up.”
There’s a classic set of things tall guys list when they’re musing on their lack of dates. They’re myths and they need to be banished because they’re holding you back.
They all think I’m weird.
They only want me for my reach.
I’ll just draw unwanted attention to us.
Apparently 33% of being tall, dark and handsome isn’t enough.
But guys, remember – NOBODY thinks they get enough dates! And everyone dreams up a bunch of excuses to justify their lack of success. Just because we’re less successful than the footballers and movie stars doesn’t mean a thing.
Go Big Yourself Up
You might think bigging yourself up is the dimmest idea. But sometimes you need to be a little more forward in communicating your unique selling points to your potential others before you even have a chance of making it to date stage. Try these passing comments to whoever you’re interested in (although strangers at bus stops are not always the most willing of recipients):
I can reach literally anything, even when I’m sitting down.
I have a gargantuan appetite. Stick with me and you’ll never go hungry.
Did I mention figures show that tall men earn more and are more likely to be promoted and put in positions of power? Just the twice? OK.
If they’re yawning and checking Facebook, you might have to resort to the nuclear option. Take a deep breath …
You know, big guys have bigger hands and … bigger feet and … bigger … heads … and …
This high-stakes gambit will probably either have you (a) running for your life or (b) despairing as your intended other fails to get what you’re driving at until you’ve exhausted all the mentionables in Gray’s Anatomy. So there’s a tiny glimmer of a chance that you’ll get a positive reaction; but definitely save this one till last.
Dating Tall Women
Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mydearvalentine/9221419042/
You’ve had it up to here with the all women down there. They just can’t get past the height thing. It’s not their fault. Remember, they were brought up in an average world and probably think you’re from another planet. But what about you? Where have you been concentrating your attention? Did it ever occur to you that you’re guilty of heightism when you’ve been assuming only medium-sized women appreciate your Good Sense of Humour? There are plenty of them out there and they’re not too hard to find. As well as having off-the-shelf empathy, you’ll also have these facts to bind you together:
- No backache from hugging
- No kissing gymnastics
- Fewer precarious positions in bed
- Periscope-free eye contact
- When you’re out for a walk, no more stopping every five minutes so she can catch up
- You can really annoy people at cinemas and concerts and enjoy it together.
And then there’s the alternative approach – trying to find a woman whose outlook on life has always been angled upwards, so dating you will only be a matter of recalibration. Look at the facts of dating a small woman:
- Together you will be the first to know when it’s raining or if there’s a flood.
- For you, everyone is short, so what difference do a few more inches make?
- She can wear any heels known to science.
- She won’t wear your clothes all the time (and you definitely won’t be wearing hers).
- People won’t know whether it’s you who’s tall or her who’s short.
Where in the World?
If you’re desperate you can uproot yourself and start looking for your perfect match internationally. If the height thing is important, try these countries with the tallest and shortest average heights:
The Tallest Three
- The Netherlands
The Shortest Three
- The Philippines
Getting a Round In – Dates to Avoid
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So let’s assume you’ve persuaded an eligible woman to accompany you on a date. First of all, well done! (We knew you could do it.) Now you’re going to have to start thinking of a suitable venue for the date. You’ll probably have grim experience of places that don’t cater to the tall man’s needs, so make sure these are struck off your list straight away. You’ll have enough to contend with keeping your nerves at bay and remembering how you described yourself when you were wooing her. So here’s our top-of-the-head list of places tall guys shouldn’t consider for that all-important first date.
Even though the modern cinema has seating designed to provide an unimpeded view whoever chooses to sit in front of you, some are still not particularly tall-person-friendly (or, should we say, person-sitting-behind-tall-person-friendly). Unless you spend the duration of the film slouched down, you might have to contend with taps on the shoulder or flying popcorn. And if you purposely book the back seats she might think you have ulterior motives. There’s also the legroom issue, too. Again, things have improved recently but you might still end up sitting with your legs at 45 degrees to your body, thus rubbing against a complete stranger or your date. AVOID.
What better way to accentuate your altitude than to take her to a place where everything is small? Mini golf is appearing in all sorts of places of late, but try and resist the temptation. Same applies to model villages, although that would be quite odd anyway. AVOID.
Unless you’ve spent the past month in front of the mirror perfecting your knees-around-the-ears look, a first date on the karting circuit will probably not be entirely flattering. Racing drivers are always short, and there’s a reason for this. AVOID.
You like wearing size 11 bowling shoes? You’d better had, because that’s all they go up to in a lot of places. Tiptoeing around like you’re holding an acorn between your buttocks might be fine on the third date, but not the first. AVOID.
Admittedly it would take a particularly confident person to suggest a swimming date for the first one, but hey, you might like to have a splash. But when the deep end only reaches your waist and children start to cry, you’ll realise it was a bad idea. AVOID.
The Perfect Recipe for Dates
So now we’ve dealt with the don’ts, here are the dos.
DO keep it casual. A relaxed drink or a coffee on a midweek evening is a better ice-breaker than a noisy nightclub. You can hear each other speak and you can dress how you like, which should be casual.
DO show your confidence without straying into arrogance. You may well be a dazzlingly successful person, but let the brilliance trickle out and engage listening mode early on.
DO make light of your height. She knows you’re tall; you know you’re tall; so jokingly get the subject out of the way quickly to let her know you’re comfortable in your own skin and that she’s fine mentioning your height. Don’t go overboard, though – she mustn’t end up thinking it’s the only noteworthy thing about you.
DO your research. If you’ve got a bit of time before the date, find stuff out about the venue to avoid getting flustered when the date gets going. Is it table service? What do people wear? Where can you get a taxi from? How much do things cost? Where are the toilets? What time does it close? Where are the fire exits? Are the food hygiene certificates up to date? And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
DO switch off your phone. For the next hour or two, your date is the focus of your attention. Nothing else matters. Switch it off. Or put it on silent. OK, vibrate. If you must.
DO offer to pay. She might beat you to it, but showing that you’re generous and only slightly into your overdraft shows that you’re not going to end up a liability. Going Dutch is fiddly and fussy, and saying she can pay next time might be a good way to secure that cherished second liaison, when you’ll be a whole lot more relaxed (especially since you’re not paying).